This week was unfortunately dominated by more existential thoughts about FIRE. After going the full year of travel without any of these thoughts, I figured I was in the clear. FIRE induced anxiety (not a real thing I’m sure) has been bugging me a bit this week, and it’s something I’m going to have to sort through. That is covered in more detail on days 45 and 46 below.

FIRE: Day 43 (8/10)

Spanish and gym took up my morning.

In the evening we had BC’s back to school night. We went to his home room and then walked through his schedule. It was my first time seeing some of the teachers, but JC is familiar with all of them through subbing.

I’m still losing my mind at the kids social activities. I’m so glad school is starting so they will have something to drain their energy, and also we can say “not on a school night”.

FIRE: Day 44 (8/11)

I went to the gym earlier today, around 9am. It’s a slightly better time to go, a little quieter before it picks up at 10am. I don’t really understand why it picks up at 10am, but it seems to be mostly retired people at that time.

The guy who finished our floor came by today to look at a spot that was missing the top coat. He put some on there and it looks good, but I think he glued down a piece from our dish washer behind the kick plate. I’ll wait for it to dry and then deal with it.

BC and AC had another full day of socializing. AC went to QT with her friend, and then they came back here and watched true crime stuff on Netflix. BC played with various friends from the neighborhood outside.

FIRE: Day 45 (8/12)

The kids went back to school today. JC and I had big plans on doing this lake hike, but with that being a 90 minute drive plus an hour of hiking to the lakes, we reconsidered. Our concern was that on the first day something would go wrong and they would need us. We opted for buying a comforter for our bed to replace the one I probably threw away. Then we watched some Handmaid’s Tale, trying to binge it before we cancel disney+.

In the evening we had the high school freshman back to school night for AC. It was a presentation in the theater, which was decently engaging. Then they let us loose to go walk around the high school. AC surprised us and really knew how to navigate through the school. She tends to get lost easily, but the system they have at this school works well for her.

FIRE Panic

I had a weird FIRE related panic briefly today. I’m still looking back on it wondering what happened. It all started by browsing around on Indeed, which I have done many times since leaving my job in mid 2025. I’m not looking with the intention of finding a job. I just like seeing the state of the software development industry, how many jobs there are, what skills are being sought, etc. Often times I’m not looking at tech at all, but oddball jobs like night shift positions. I just think they are strange and fun to look at.

Today though I inadvertently went through a sequence that lead to a few minutes of panic. Like real panic with sweating and breathing kind of hard. It went something like this:

• Seeing tech jobs made me wonder if I should try to keep my skills relevant, just in case
• I talked to Claude about certifications I could pursue
• Claude said something like “Yeah your skills are fading quickly, but the gap in your resume is an even bigger deal. You better lean on networking if you want a job”.
• That made me think about how I couldn’t immediately turn on income even if I wanted to. It might take months of runway.
• What if something happens and we need income?
• <– PANIC –>

What The Hell Was That?

After I got out of the panic a few minutes later, the whole thing seemed so dumb. I remembered that we have 26x our annual expenses invested. We have 8.4x our annual expenses that I could access in a couple days penalty free. We made more in investment growth over the last year, with neither of us working, than we ever made in combined income in any year.

Why was I freaking out about not being able to get a job? I have no desire to go work a corporate tech job ever again. I never loved it, often hated it, and it was always a means to an end. That end has been achieved. A job is also not like an instant firehose of cash. I would have to work the better part of a year to take home even 1x our annual expenses.

I’m giving myself a lot of room to feel things like this or my last existential crisis. When you’ve been programmed since adolescence to have a job, have a title, and have an income, that mentality isn’t easily undone. It may never be undone.

FIRE: Day 46 (8/13)

My crisis from yesterday carried into today, although not in a panic format. I’m realizing this is the first chance I’ve had post-FIRE to sit with my thoughts, permanently settled down.

Never once over the year of travel did I have any negative thoughts about not working or not having an income. It’s really a testament to how awesome our year of travel was. Navigating internationally and homeschooling the kids was a true accomplishment. It never occurred to me “I should be doing something”, because we were doing something.

The thoughts today took a slightly different form, although the thought that I should be working was still present. My mindset settled into realizing that if I do nothing but be retired, the useful portion of my life is over. That really gets put under a spotlight when I see AC going to this great high school with endless possibilities in front of her. At that point in life, when you’re younger, it’s hard to recognize that you are entering some of the most incredible years of your life.

Having spent those younger years of my life dreaming of fast forwarding to get to the point I’m at now is a funny irony. When I look at the coming years for AC, I’m so excited for her and what’s about to unfold over the next decade or two. I would be sad if she ever wanted to trade that for FIRE money.

While I want to sort through these feelings over time, I also don’t want to just sit and stew in it. I know I need to start moving in some direction, and so I’m getting busy building products like yesalittle, indie hacking style, trying new technologies, and writing about them. I registered a second blog where I’ll be documenting my trials with these products and new tech. It seems like a good way to keep my skills sharp and stay busy, while staying FIRE’d and not work in the corporate world.

FIRE: Day 47 (8/14)

After going to the gym and doing Spanish, I got to work on tech stuff. I set up the new blog which is basically just a skeleton at this point. I worked for several hours on the initial post, which is really just an introduction giving some background about me and what I’m up to.

Later in the evening JC and I had happy hour, and it was my movie pick for FAC, so I picked a kid appropriate horror move called Flight 7500. It was kind of cheeseball, but it was ok.

FIRE: Day 48 (8/15)

I woke up pretty late today, around 8:30am. After having coffee, I went and ran at the gym.

In the middle of the day I did a few hours of productive work, and then JC and I made a run to the liquor store. The cul-de-sac BBQ was tonight so we wanted some weaker drinks that we could drink slow and long into the night. It was pretty nice talking to everyone. A couple of my other friends that I play fantasy football with from outside the cul-de-sac stopped by as well, and that’s always a good time. To end the night I went over to one of those guy’s houses to watch the final UFC fight.

FIRE: Day 49 (8/16)

I was low grade hung over today after the drinks and not sleeping well. We had a brunch with JC’s brother’s family and her mom for her mom’s birthday.

A couple mystery charges showed up on my credit card from Hertz. After digging into it, they are pretty clearly “traffic infringements”. It’s two separate incidents I suppose, but I’m going to wait a few days to see if any others come in. I have an email drafted to Hertz that I’ll send eventually if they don’t reach out with the details first. That’s to confirm these are in fact traffic violations, and that they gave the traffic authority my correct address.

I fully intend to pay these, and acknowledge the possibility they caught me speeding when passing. It could also be a moving violation of some kind I guess. In any case I want to resolve these in case we want to visit South Africa again some day.